A Walk with Erin Coran | Eden Invitation Community Member 

The journey of discipleship is rarely straightforward; instead, our lives unfold like a winding road, with our desires like many signposts, offering options for next steps. In Eden Invitation, we seek to hold both the particular moments and the whole journey with open hands, asking the Lord what His invitation is for our lives. 

I had the privilege to chat with one woman whose journey has been radically formed by Eden Invitation’s mission and community. From questions about desire and vocation, to receiving the call to Consecrated Virginity, offering herself to Christ and His Church, Erin is walking a beautiful pilgrimage in her life. Here in this Q&A, she shares the course her life has taken so far as she pursues Christ. Come walk with me, Bernadette O’Keefe, as I receive her story!

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Bernadette: So how'd you first hear about Eden Invitation? 

Erin: I had been looking for resources about LGBTQ+ experiences since about 2016. So it was soon after the [Eden Invitation] blog came out [in 2017]. But the first time I really heard more about Eden Invitation was at SEEK in 2018, when I went to Anna Carter’s talk. I think that was even one of her first talks. That is what made it all more real for me.

Looking back, it was so funny! My friends asked what breakout I was going to, and well, the title was not very subtle– “Liking Girls but Loving Jesus More.” I think I basically came out to them then. 

B: Did you do your Story Call right after that SEEK Conference?

Erin: No, actually– it took me a couple of years until I signed up, which is common for a lot of people from what I’ve seen. I’m still so grateful, though, that I found out about EI when I did. Just knowing this community existed was helpful for me. 

I did my Story Call in 2020, and it was with Shannon [an EI co-founder]. At that point, I was so blessed in my circumstances. In my friend group and other spaces in college, I already had people who had similar experiences, so it was nothing new for me to be sharing my story. For many people coming to an EI Story Call, it is their first time having space to talk about sexuality, gender, faith– their whole story with another person. That space is just so beautiful. 

What stuck out most to me about my own Story Call was the personal connection, the invitation, and the momentum to start learning more about what EI is about in community. I felt I was seen in this space, and this could be a good community for me. I could have a home here.

B: You were still in college for all of this, right?

Erin: Yeah, I graduated from college in 2021, so I was at home during COVID when I did my Story Call. I think that was such a unique time since everything was virtual. Before then, I wasn’t comfortable doing video calls, but with all the lockdown stuff, I became used to it. I’m usually more of an “in-person” kind of person.

B: I also connected in 2020, but I was well out of school. It must have been interesting to do Book Club in the midst of lockdowns and finishing college!

Erin: It was! So, I signed up for my first Book Club in 2020, but actually didn’t finish with the group because of school. My first Book Club Guide was so helpful and joyful! Even those few sessions helped me get a feeling for the community. I was still a frequent visitor to the website and blog, using it as a resource. I told myself that, once my college projects were done, I really wanted to jump back into this community.

My first full Book Club wasn’t until Advent 2022, when we read Reed of God by Caryll Houselander. As I mentioned earlier, in college, the Lord providentially put people at our little Newman Center who had similar experiences. We could grow in community together there. But then away from college, there was this sense of like, “I’m the only one.” There’s still this sense that, in the broader Church, I don’t have many others who get me in these experiences. And so it was super beautiful in the Book Club to see that people got me and to have this unique space for processing. That was about the same time that I was officially getting connected with my diocese towards my vocation of Consecrated Virginity. Even though I didn’t really bring that up during book club, it was helpful to see the different ways that others live out celibacy.

B: We do have lots of unique vocations represented here! I think there aren’t many people who know about Consecrated Virginity, even in Catholic spaces. What’s it been like to discern that vocation?

Erin: Honestly, I don’t think I can separate my vocation from what EI has given to me. It feels so intertwined because my vocation doesn't make sense without this experience of community, these people walking the same journey, even if it looks very different in each person.

When I was 18, I first felt that stirring of the call towards consecrated life, but at the time, I thought that meant as a Religious Sister. Since I was still in college, I was mostly just reaching out to communities and learning more. What became very clear, as I was discerning religious life, was that I had this pain when I thought about leaving the world. The full title of consecrated virginity is Consecrated Virginity Lived in the World. That “lived in the world” is important. The pain I felt wasn’t like “oh, I’ll miss my phone”– I knew the Lord had been so intentional about the people in my life and my heart for building community. If I left, I wouldn’t be able to continue fostering the community the Lord gave me. That's when I said, “Okay, I think Consecrated Virginity is really the Lord’s call for me.” That realization happened around 2020, as I was getting more connected to Eden Invitation. 

It's a long process of formation, and I feel like the Eden Invitation community has been right there as I've taken all of these steps. Especially with retreats as a touch point, it's really interesting to see each year how I've grown.

One fear I had about my vocation was this fear of being alone. As a Consecrated Virgin,  I will not have an earthly spouse. I will not have kids. Eden Invitation works hard to make spaces for every different vocation, and each one is respected. It gave me the space to see that there were other people like me, in particular, even though celibacy is a vocation that's gonna look different for each person. In the wider Church, sometimes it’s really hard to find that– if you don’t have a “typical” vocation journey or a “cookie-cutter” way of living the Christian life, there are people in the Church that don’t know what to do with you. But within the context of Eden Invitation– everyone from Staff, to Relational Support Team members, to the community members– there’s a deep creativity, a desire to see what the Lord is doing in each unique person. There is a richness in each person’s unique journey to God. This posture has given me freedom in my discernment– that a dedicated, celibate heart in this vocation of Consecrated Virginity can be so full and beautiful.

I’ve been meditating on that beauty a lot recently. Of course, we all have the Lord, and our relationship with Him has primacy above everything, but for the single or consecrated person, there are no other primary relationships like a spouse or children. That “emptiness” is actually a space for an availability to the Lord. They can follow Him and bring Him to others in some really radical ways. I think that’s something that, even in our diocesan formation materials for Consecrated Virginity, we’re still exploring. But here in Eden Invitation, there are so many different examples!

B: Mm! That’s so good to hear, Erin! Speaking of unique examples, do you have specific people and moments that illustrate how others have walked with you on this journey?

Erin: Oh man, I’ve been on 3 EI Retreats, and it’s so cool that we always renew our Baptismal Vows at the end. Actually, Bernadette, during our ending Brunch and Toasts one year, you shared how important that practice is to you. Not everyone in this community is going to have a moment where they stand in front of their loved ones and say vows in a certain way. Not everyone will have a sacramental marriage, or enter a religious community, or even like me, say vows in the Cathedral. But really, we've all said vows giving our lives through our Baptism, and we can renew those now.

Another example– I’m in my mid-twenties right now, and it’s so helpful to see those in this community who are older than me. Even those who are in their 30s have, like, 5-10 years on me, and they’re still walking this journey. One woman in my regional Hearth Group who lives near me has been such a great friend and living example of how fruitful a single life can be. Also, the witness and support of our Pastoral Team, like Priest Companions, has really impacted me. I love that Fr. Malachy is present through our online community and comes to Retreats! It’s so good to know of their prayers.

I am so encouraged, too, seeing how many hands make everything in Eden Invitation work, how many hearts are committed to it. There’s a huge way in which I want to give back using my unique gifts too.

Going back a bit, I remember meeting Andrew Reinkenmeyer [New Engagement Coordinator] for the first time during my 2022 Book Club. I hadn’t even been back in the community for long, and he reached out to me later. He could tell that I had walked in spaces like this before, navigating stories around faith and LGBTQ+ experiences. He asked me, “Have you ever considered being on our Relational Support Team?” At that time, I told him I’d consider it. And now, I’m in training to join our Relational Support Team [RST] as a Story Call Volunteer!

B: Thank you for that gift! There are many opportunities for volunteering in EI, but what led you to choose Story Calls?

Erin: Well, this isn’t my first time volunteering with EI either. I’ve shared my story with donors and supporters of EI during some of our fundraising phone-a-thons! As someone very open about my story, I loved the opportunity to actually talk to people who are making all of this possible with their donations and prayers!

Not sure how much the word gets out beyond the Appalantic Regional Hearth Group [East Coast, USA], but I’m known as “The Recruiter,” even before I started my Story Caller Training. There have just been so many people in my life who have shared these [LGBTQ+] experiences with me. And I have such trust in the way Eden Invitation runs– there is such intentionality, and you can see the value of Beloved Unrepeatability lived out. I trust that these people in my life will be received well. I have full trust that the Lord will put each of these people exactly where they need to be. 

I’ve told so many people to do a Story Call, and then after they did it, I checked in, “So how’d it go?” The look on their faces, the freedom they received– such a gift! And you know, not all of them fully get involved with EI after that, but still, that early touchpoint, that experience of encounter, is so important to me. 

One fruit of fostering those connections is the growing community near me in the Pittsburgh area. And all of the other touchpoints we have– the annual EI Retreat, Community Weekends with Appatlantic– are growing. Those Community Weekends are another way I see different vocations coming together and living life. Being able to foster those bonds and grow those community spaces by facilitating that early step in someone’s journey with EI has been really, really special. 

B: Thank you again, Erin, for the gift of your story and your life! Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Erin: I think, for those of us with LGBTQ+ experiences seeking to live the Church’s teachings, it can feel like we’re this small part of the Church, put off to the side. But to know how many people support us and care enough about our hearts that they want to give, to help people flourish within the Church, really stands out to me in a big way.

This community and the work that everyone is doing – community members and supporters – is having an impact. I've seen the impact it's made in my diocese. I've seen the impact it's made on people around me. I’m unbelievably grateful for the way that my own heart has been transformed and my vocation has truly been fostered through the gift of Eden Invitation. Thank you to all of you for making it possible!